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A beautiful bounty
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Where to BEGIN?
I suppose I should begin with a clean up of Jordan Lake that I participated in several years ago, at the invitation of Haw River Keeper Elaine Chioso.
There, on those muddy/sandy wooded banks, I witnessed that, in addition to your various plastic cups, beer and soda bottles, baby diapers etc that people hurl out of their windows I suppose, there was also quite a substantial a migration of tires landing on the shores of Jordan Lake.
In fact, In discussing this phenomenon with Elaine at a later party, she shared the news that there are reportedly HUNDREDs, if not THOUSANDS of these tires, piled up on islands in Jordan Lake!
The trick for the clean up crews was, and is, how to get them. Many of them are filled with water, and therefor quite heavy. Elaine said that the Army Corps of Engineers (who, in partnership with the DNR, and Fish and Wildlife, maintains the area), was considering leasing a BARGE to haul the heap of tire off of the island!!!
Now, not to be boastful or anything, but to your 'garden variety' conservationist, this might be seen as a rather large problem (and indeed it is). BUT to an enterprising tire designer / sculptor, this presented a whole nother set of speculative disposal perameters.
In two words: BURIED TREASURE!....
Perhaps I could share a quick story with you.
Several years ago, while taking a summer dip in the Haw River, beneath the Bynum Bridge, I dredged up a big blubbery tire, from the river's muddy banks; the rivers red-clay laden, iron-rich waters still sloshing about in this black, tubby loop of languer..as it had been for who knows how many years...
I enlisted this tire, because I planned to turn it into a planter, of the kind you might see in your neighbors front yard. But after I had made all of my cuts to its edge, I discovered that when I opened it up, so Crusty was the insides of this thing, such a filthy, muddy mess, that even after a hard scrubbing by a couple of teenagers, it still bore the mark of this mud's stain...It was inpenatrable.
A few days later, I was going to try to sell my rubber wares at a crafts fair for the first time.
I was too embarrassed to bring that hideious old muddy thing, I though surely it would ruin my entire image, and decided to leave it at home. But, at the last minute, I realized that I needed it to balance out my display, and on a whim, begrudgingly hoisted it into the trunk of my car.
Well, was I ever surprised to find that not only was it the most sought after planter in my booth, I actually sold it twice! (and once to the then Director of the Chatham Arts Guild!).
It got me thinking, and you know how that goes.
Before long, I had written up a business plan, to partner with HRA, and some others, to turn these tires into gold. Or filthy lucre, if you prefer.
So, the question then was, how to get my clutches on some more?....
To be continued...
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| Our Fearless Captain Fran- a Man with a Plan |
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| Buried Treasure Map! |
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| Booty in the hold! Army Corps Ranger Steven makes a fast getaway. |
Swarthy Tire Buccaneers
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| The Plank! |
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| Avast Ye! |
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| The Gallows await. |
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| A beautiful bounty |
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| This was the first evidence I've ever seen of tire worms in the wild... It seems that they prefer the creamy, marsh-mellowy, white-wall nougat in the middle. Who can blame them? |
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| They were also infested with crouching tire ninjas. Yuck! |
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| callin' up a herd of cheeky burnt marsh-mellows, mate. |
A HUGE THANKS to the Durso family, for tipping me off to this incredible bonanza, and for helping me to shepherd this flock of lost tires to the Durso's magical manger, where they now await their 'new' destiny.
